TRANSCRIPT

I considered that she might come back early.

I didn't think it would happen butI planned what I would do.

Y'Know just in case.

There was a 90% chance she'd immediately go to the bathroom.

If that was the case I'd have quietly slipped out.

Plan B was psychological,

it would have involved throwing her laundry basket at her while I madeoff with a fist full of knickers.

The idea being that she'd be so relieved I'm gone that she forgets to call the cops.

This would have been comical...